Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Michelle Obama's Trip to Spain

There has been considerable controversy about the first lady’s trip to Spain and the meeting with Don Carlos in Palma de Mallorca. First, let it be said that to ignore the leader of Spain would have been a diplomatic faux pas of the first order. She is, after all, the visiting spouse of the president of the United States.

The rest of the trip is a little fuzzier. The following quote is from the sympathetic Chicago Sun Times

“A White House source told me that Blanchard's father passed away and Mrs. Obama was not able to make the funeral at the beginning of July. Blanchard had promised her daughter she would take her to Spain for her birthday. She asked Mrs. Obama and Sasha to come with. (Malia is at overnight camp.)

"She felt it was important as a dear friend to do this," I was told.”

For a clear look at how to evaluate this mega-dollar vacation expenditure, I of course, went immediately to Ace of Spades.

We’re big pals you know. He lovingly refers to me as “moron” which serves as a term of endearment on his blog. I was rewarded with a full rundown with the inside dope on Michelle’s activities. My next step was to steal it in its entirety and share it with you.

“Top Ten Activities To Honor Friend's Departed Father At Michelle Obama's Five-Star Funeral Jam

10. Barbecued shrimp slightly al dente out of respect for the dead

9. When snorkeling, bereavers hold their heads upside-down so brilliantly-colored coral fish appear to be wearing sad face frowns instead of happy face smiles

8. Commemorative Jet-Skiing

7. Morning's mani-pedi group outing begun by reading of appropriate Psalm, and then reading of a random cartoon from Marmaduke: The Classics, because you can't start your day off too heavy on the Spanish Riviera

6. Extreme zip-line excursion reminds everyone that life is fleeting

5. Resort's specialty drink? The "Mortal Coil Monsoon"

4. Waiters and bartenders only tipped 7% to remind them that there are things more important than money

3. Bereavement Para-sailing

2. Booze Cruise's Martini-and-crossed-swords flag lowered to half mast

And the number one activity to honor the dead at Michelle Obama's five-star funeral jam...

1. Moment of silence strictly observed after each Bama Slamma shot

Bonus! Number 0.

0. Every day after the spa, Michelle flexes her biceps and announces she's giving Father Blanchard a "two-gun salute""

Thanks for the comprehensive run down on the first lady’s activities. It’s a lot more than anyone was able to get from press secretary Robert Gibbs.

In His abiding love,

Cecil Moon

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