August 19, 2009
Man Arrested for Brandishing Constitution at Obama RallyPosted by Harvey at 5:26 pm
PHOENIX (AP) — A man carrying a copy of the US Constitution was arrested while demonstrating outside President Obama’s speech to veterans on Monday.
Although Arizona law currently allows citizens to openly carry a Constitution for purposes of self-defense against tyrants and despots, such laws are usurped in the presence of the President.
“A venue is considered a federal site when the Secret Service is protecting the president and federal law applies on a federal site,” said Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan.
Because the Constitution contains language “limiting” the powers of President - and was also written by slave-owners who considered blacks to be “three-fifths” of a person and not eligible for the office of the Presidency - the document is not protected as “free speech”. Instead, it’s covered under federal hate speech laws if one is brought within 1000 feet of President Obama.
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said that the incident was being taken “very seriously” and that the FBI was considering further action.
“The US Constitution is a violent and revolutionary document, directly responsible for at least two wars in this nation,” said Gibbs. “Insurrectionist chatter like that may require us to consider charges of treason. We’re currently investigating the possibility, which will take some time, since no one in this administration has ever actually examined the document in question.”
“Free speech is not an absolute,” explained FBI spokesman John Miller. “You can’t yell ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater. Waving a Constitution around is essentially yelling ‘freedom!’ at a crowded Obama rally. We consider this sort of offensive language a direct threat to civil order in general and the President in particular, and it will not be tolerated.”
END OF SATIRE
These GUYS ARE good. This is satire in its finest hour—and really scary.
With this concept in mind: try to enjoy the rest of your day.
In His abiding love,