Saturday, September 25, 2010

Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers!

I was unable to resist this tale of woe from Alliance, Ohio.  It appears that Jim Brienzo, at the conclusion of a “shopping” foray at Wal-Mart, went out an open side door instead of using the checkout lines near the front.  Once outside, Brienzo, decided to hide out in a dumpster parked beside the super center.  It was not mentioned whether he had the $1000 worth of merchandise he had lifted, with him in the trash.

Soon after becoming “safely” hidden; along came the trash truck, picked up the dumpster and dumped Jim and the largely cardboard contents into the interior and activated the compactor mechanism.  Jim, unable to extricate himself, called a friend who in turn called 911.  The truck continued on its rounds and picked up several more dumpsters full and added to Brienzo’s problems.  The police, by using GPS tracking of Jim’s phone signal, were able finally to locate the truck and direct it to the nearest trash facility.  Once the contents were dumped, they still couldn’t find the thief until they sorted through the mess in search of his faint calls for help.

After experiencing repeated compactions in the rear of the truck, he was fairly easy to apprehend.  If you want to experience “breaking every bone in your body,” Jim’s escapade will serve you well.  This latest will only enlarge upon the existing 26 page “rap” sheet he already has—if he lives through it.

It surely brings new meaning to “clean up on aisle 8.”  Or better; maybe a quote from Bill Engvall: “Here’s your sign!”

In His abiding love,

Cecil Moon

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