The word has come down from the White House that the new NASA mission is to make Muslims feel better about themselves. Given their current contribution to science and technology, it’s about time someone gave them that well deserved pat on the back. What other group has done the background work necessary to refine stoning of non-believers with such precision? Have they been credited for their ground breaking work on female genital mutilation? Innovation in concert with age-old axe technology has enabled them to separate a head from a body with dispatch when offended or in observance of a violation of Sharia law.
In spite of a few missteps with underwear bombs and failed fireworks in SUV’s, they have relentlessly pursued inventive means of destruction of the followers of the great Satan. Now that we have an entire federal agency charged with the responsibility for and the encouragement of rewards they may enjoy praise and adulation for their accomplishments. It is possible that we can aid them in bringing their culture into the 9th century. If done properly, perhaps even the tenth is possible. I’m certain that someone at NASA can jury-rig a space suit for a goat. They may have to trim those beards though. We would suggest that a catchy name for the program would be: “No Imam left behind.”
Part of the program will no doubt soon include a suitable Nobel candidate for their participation in some upcoming historical event. Let us hope that in a fit of typical federal carelessness, they have not lost that coupon on the back of the cereal box which specifies how many box tops are required for redemption of that prestigious Norwegian award.
What an ignominious end for an agency of our government which brought unequalled pride to our peoples. God help us all.
In His abiding love,
Cecil Moon
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