Selfishness

In a fit of atypical sensitivity, I questioned my bride this morning about what seemed obviously, some distress. As usual, she denied any problem and, fighting back tears, continued in her work. Fearing that I had committed some unknown high crime, I later pressed the matter in the hope of finding the cause of her angst. She finally confessed she had received a note from a close relative in response to a suggested book which she found spiritually outstanding.

The writer of the note revealed in the text, not agnosticism but absolute disbelief. Since my wife has an exemplary faith in Jesus Christ and the tenets of the Gospel, that reply brought serious questioning of “where she went wrong.” The matter prompted a discussion of some length.

Several things came up as we attempted to figure out why the aforementioned relative had so firmly come to these conclusions. Being well versed in her history, I had a measure of understanding, not sympathy -- understanding. We sawed back and forth and finally singled out selfishness as the villain. This is an easy conclusion because the condition is nearly universal to some degree or another in each and every one of us.

As previously argued on these pages, we have survival mechanisms hard wired into our psyche which render us primarily concerned for our own well being. As babes, we scream for food, comfort and attention. We progress to a more sophisticated level, protecting our own toys, space, and importance in the family. As teens we are introduced to more and more interest in the carnal self and are constantly reacting to our peers, not just in the family, but in the world at large. If nothing interrupts this process, the result is inevitable. Our pre-adult years are spent often within the confines of our own existence. Under these circumstances, it is difficult not to realize that, “it’s not about you.”

We question some adults, who are far from the realm of childhood, and wonder when they will “grow up,” a euphemism for diminishing selfishness. Some never do. They continue to clamor for attention and their entire world view is a mirror for their own needs. You know these people. They populate our divorce courts, rehabilitation centers for drugs and alcohol, hospitals, prisons, and congress. I didn’t just throw that in to see if you were paying attention. Unfortunately, it is frequently apropos. Each is a rampaging example of selfishness and almost every social ill can be traced to it. Infidelity, personal gratification, hypochondria, crime, and, for that matter, earmarks of other peoples' money as a re-election device can be traced to love of self. None of these people have the greater good of mankind as their central purpose. Their exposure to the teachings of Jesus Christ have either been inadequate or ignored.

Recognizing selfishness in oneself is not an easy matter but it is absolutely essential for a professing Christian. As a foundation for the humility we are advised to seek and the repentance necessary for salvation it is of the utmost importance. Success in the issue is difficult to quantify. It cannot be seen in terms of the absolute. It exists on a sliding scale. With the total absence of self comes a degree of perfection which would make us an immediate candidate for translation to the heavenly realm. Does that mean it is a hopeless endeavor? Speaking personally, I easily recognize the various levels of selfishness which have guided me to harm not only myself but others. This realization has drawn me to see in Jesus Christ the answer to all of life’s problems. Even though I see Him as a solution I recognize, even today, a varying sublimation of self and elevation of Him. I would love to tell you the process is final but must share that I am a work in progress. I offer this as a disclaimer for those who don’t realize I am writing this for me as well as for you.

There is a finite amount of space in our hearts and minds. We may either choose to fill the void with love of self or the love of Christ. Along with the love of Christ comes the love of others. He did not suggest it; He commanded it. I know; your back aches, your car payment's due, your sister ran off with the pool boy, the preacher offended you, and your boss is a minion of Satan. But, is that an excuse to offend everyone else in your life? Does it become a reason to withdraw your tenderness and not address the needs of others? We are advised not to hide our light under the bushel but shine as a beacon to all as an example.

I must re-emphasize that this is an ongoing procedure. Filling the voids with the spirit of the Lord, to be successful must be constant. Any departure from this effort will result in failure and all its consequences. I have encountered a few professionals in my life whose constant focus was on practice: a couple of doctors, lawyers, and certainly some athletes who have recognized this as an essential aspect of their careers. Is not our pursuit of the Lord’s purpose in our lives not worthy of practice as well? Further study of the scriptures, a good word to a brother, random acts of kindness and a general sense of a good example go a long way toward practicing what we preach. I fully realize that it might forestall some of our selfish interests, but then, that is what this all about, isn’t it?
While I cherish the fellowship with other believers I fully understand that my future rests upon my personal relationship with God. I find it non-contradictory that I face judgment based upon my actions alone. I cannot run, neither can I hide. As my knowledge of Him has increased and my heightened awareness of His purposes has taken over my thoughts I am far more comfortable facing the realities of the future.

As far as the relative who caused all this introspection in the first place, my immediate thought is to seek the Lord in prayer. The second response is to enlarge the scope of the example we set by assuring her that all our love is available and, like it or not, so is the Lord’s. The most important thing is to continue the contact and not run away from any confrontation, because once dialogue ceases, any chance for ministry disappears as well.

In His abiding love,

Cecil Moon