Someone accused us of not having a sense of humor. A. Hah! B. We always consider the source.
Here is a satirical extract from the PEACE AND JUSTICE SALES MANUAL
Sample Roll Play Kit
Exalted Leader: (Imagine the voice of Ron Popiel) Tell you what I’m gonna do! I’m gonna get the name back! I’m gonna get you reconciliation! Plus—and this is only for the next 100 branches that sign up—I’m gonna promise you anything you want to hear, but you have to act today.
Pathetic member: Why the rush? Hasn’t this thing been stewing for years?
E.L.: Yeah, but we really need to act now. If you send your $1000 today I’ll throw in the complete words to "Kumbayah."
P.M.: I still don’t understand the rush. I think . . .
E.L.: But wait, there’s more!
P.M.: I need to think and pray about this . . .
E.L.: If you sign up today we will include a CD "Gaia’s Greatest New Age Hits." You wouldn’t want to miss that.
P.M.: What ever happened to “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing?”
E.L.: Passe'! This is today! We need this name back to show we care about our history. But, you drive a hard bargain . . .
P.M.: But . . .
E.L.: . . . so tell you what I’m gonna do. If you act today, we’ll let three branches on board for the price of two. Send in your branch name and $2000 and we’ll send out your solid faux gold certificate attractively framed to you and two other branches.
P.M.: I still don’t . . .
E.L.: Here, use my pen, it’s a genuine Bic roller and you can keep it.
End of satire.
Let us pray.
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4 comments:
I was waiting for "But wait!! There's more!" Perhaps the promise of seventyship, if that's a word.
Oh, there is a LOT more. I think the satire just opens the door so we can carry on with our own "but wait" comments!
I appreciate the satire because it makes some very valid points.
The situation does appear to be playing out like those TV infomercials -- we're always on the edge of our seats waiting to see what the new "But wait ..." is going to be.
But wait there's more, this action will be the "KEY" to bringing the Endowment upon our fearless leaders and the pre 156 state of life!
If you are old enough to remember Chairman Mao, that was his trademark. There was always something new to his brand of Communism. When you keep the people in a constant state of excitement, they don't have time to sit down and and say, "Is this right?" It reminds me of when I attended Israel's Gathering in 1992. Every week there was a new "revelation" or "word" from the spirit. We were such an excited bunch.
One day in November, I realized that a certain revelation given by Earl Allen in September, about an even to occur in October, had not come true. As I asked people about it, they didn't even remember it.
But it didn't matter. We were the chosen "elite," the "cream of the crop." Jesus was going to appear to that branch just as soon as everybody was in the right spirit!!
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