Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Moses at the Bat

In the Big Inning...

by Hyman Baras

This piece was taken from the “After Him” website. It was then attributed to The Smithsonian Magazine. Since there are many repetitions of the work that were reprinted by the son of Hyman Baras we have decided it is too important not to share. Enjoy, all you baseball fans.

“While baseball is generally considered a “modern” sport, there are references in the Bible that could lead one to deduce that, in fact, there were Giants in those days as well:

And Abner said to Joab, “Let the young men...arise and play before us” (2 Samuel 2:14)...[and] all the people rose up... (Exodus 33:8 )And Jehoshaphat the son of Ahilud was the recorder; and Sheva was scribe... (2 Samuel 20:24-25)And they said unto Jephthah, “Come and be our [Captain]” (Judges 11:6)...and he measured two lines... (2 Samuel 8:2)And he set the bases... (1 Kings 7:39)

And they stood every man in his place round about the camp (Judges 7:21)...behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher... (Genesis 24:45)Ehud...the Benjamite, a man left-handed ... (Judges 3:15)...the children of Israel ...said “Who shall go up for us first...?” (Judges 20:18 )...seek out a man who is a skillful player... (1 Samuel 16:16)...Judah [shall go up] first... (Judges 20:18 )

[And] Judah took... (Judges 1:18 )Three times... (Exodus 23:14)...and...it was good. (Genesis 1:10)...and Abram went down... (Genesis 12:10)...out at the base... (Leviticus 4:18 )And Moses...smote... (Exodus 7:20)...and... [it] became foul... (Exodus 7:21)And Moses went out... (Numbers 11:24)...and none came in. (Joshua 6:1)And there was not a man left... (Joshua 8:17)And Miriam was shut out... (Numbers 12:15)And the children of Benjamin went out... (Judges 20:31)...and went into the field ... (Numbers 22:23)

And...Aaron waved... (Leviticus 9:21)And he looked this way and that way... (Exodus 2:12)...and [he] delivered up... (Numbers 21:3)...and they ran as soon as he had stretched out his hand... (Joshua 8:19)...and they fell on their faces to the ground... (Judges 13:20)Get thee up; wherefore now art thou fallen upon thy face? (Joshua 7:10)...for it was an error... (Numbers 15:25)...second and third... (Genesis 6:16)

And Joseph [spoke]... (Genesis 45:3)...concerning the error which he committed... (Leviticus 5:18 )...make [an] atonement for thyself... (Leviticus 9:7)Thou shalt fan them... (Isaiah 41:16)Then Joseph commanded to fill their...sack[s]... (Genesis 42:25)and...all the people saw it [and] they shouted... (Leviticus 9:24)“Who can stand before the [Giants]?” (Deuteronomy 9:2)and...Aaron waved... (Leviticus 9:21)...and pitched on the other side... (Numbers 21:13)...and suffered not a man to pass... (Judges 3:28 )...but....the seventh... (Exodus 31:15)Gideon...smote... (Judges 8:11)...Israel...at...first... (Jeremiah 33:7)And Noah went in... (Genesis 7:7)And there ran a young man ... (Numbers 11:27)...he turned and went back... (Judges 18:26)...unto the base.... (Numbers 8:4)...Noah walked... (Genesis 6:9)Let us go and sacrifice... (Exodus 5:8 )

And Moses lifted up his hand and smote... with his rod... (Numbers 20:11)...the...hide... (Leviticus 20:4)...a long blast.... (Joshua 6:5)...[outside] the camp... (Judges 7:17)...[for] an ‘omer... (Exodus 16:36)And the men of Israel and of Judah arose, and shouted... (1 Samuel 17:52)”

Since the proprietor of the site is originally from Cooperstown, New York, it was easy to slip this one by her. Once she stopped laughing that is.

In His abiding love,

Cecil Moon

1 comment:

matt lowry said...

cecil,
i am sure there will be a baseball field in celestial glory....and it won't be called iowa....
this piece is truly a gem, and one i am sure i can use again in several situations. thanks for that.

on a slightly serious note, and pause for ponderance, it does illustrate (albeit in a funny and very creative way) the fine art of proof-texting to make the scriptures say whatever one may want to say.
it recalls to my mind a thread on another board in which there was a lot of scripture spew going on...no comment or meaningful discussion or application of the scriptures....and the spew was clearly the product of word search cut and paste. in this case the prooftexting was neither creative nor funny. indeed it was inane.
i went to my bible and book of mormon and picked, literally at random, 4 single verses by slipping my finger between pages and pointing...2 from the bible and 2 from the book of mormon. i cut and pasted those into the thread. dozens of posts ensued, now with comments and criticisms, not because my spew was obviously spew, but because people just figured if it was scripture it must be "right", and if any word therein had anything at all to do with the subject of the thread, then it must be pertinent.

also, i think the ensuing discussion and lambasting were largely due to the fact that it was I who had posted the random scripture spew, and also to the proclivity for those engaged in the discussion to wrest meanings from the scriptures according to their desires.

please don't take this to mean that i do not think that scripture has appropriate application and guidance for us, or that proper use of scripture is even remotely related to spew...but just because a scripture pops up on a word search does not necessarily mean it has any relevance to a particular discussion or issue.

just one of my pet peeves.

thanks again for this piece.
blessings,
matt