A Test of Faith

As you might suspect, I have quite few blogs on my morning reading list. I used to get very impatient when they failed to offer me a full dose of their profound wisdom on a daily basis. Oh sure, they sometimes mentioned (in advance) that they would be on vacation, getting married, or actually doing some paying work on a (ugh!) job. Even then I felt somewhat deprived. After all, didn’t they appreciate that I had clicked in to read their offerings? Did they not know, as we at Zion Beckons are so aware, that the reader is the life blood of any on line journal? Well, yes, they do know and they also have a life. A life, which by its very nature, is chock full of the unexpected.

The imprecise nature of the rhythm of life is all too apparent around our house these days. With no close relatives near at hand our daily existence is not really disturbed by the holidays. Since we awake every day praising God for the morning and thinking of Him and His gifts, each day is in essence, Christmas. As far as seeing the old year out with a huge drunken splurge, no thanks, “Been there, done that!”

Now the exceptional has proven to be the rule. We are suddenly made aware that no matter how stable life seems to be, it can unexpectedly be disturbed. We suddenly see that rather than being humdrum and ordinary, it has taken on a new and frightening dimension. At our age – mine especially – it is reasonable to assume the presence of life-altering happenings. We have recently seen changes which blow the mind.

At Thanksgiving, my brother Craig was ill, sitting in a chair, walking with difficulty and hearing poorly. Before Christmas, he was bedridden, deaf and it required great effort to get him into the bath. Now, nearing New Years, his care is supervised by hospice personnel, his speech has become slurred and he is obviously in vital peril. It is very difficult to grasp.

At the age of 62, having lived a successful and extremely athletic life, we find him facing one of life’s defining moments. He fully understands this and has no desire to be the burden to his wife and caretakers which he has become. I salute his reason and his courage. As his closest living blood relative – he has no children – I feel compelled to be with him every moment I possibly can. Unless we have an intervention from Almighty God, I see little possibility of recovery from either his cancer or the incumbent symptoms.

In this circumstance I am fully acquainted with the necessity to realize that my plans and desires are not always in concert with the mind of God. In my life, I have attended to the burial of my parents, one son, my uncles and aunts, and numerous friends of long standing, and confess that in each case I questioned God. Selfishly, it is my wish to retain them all in my circle for my own reasons. Apparently what I can’t seem to fully understand is they are not “mine” but rather are His, to do with as His will directs. Faith is easy when it has a positive result for me. It is not so easy when it has what I determine is a negative outcome.

All that having been said; I will continue to pray earnestly for him and beg you to do so as well. This is a test of faith for your host. Please join me in a prayer to the Almighty for a fuller, richer understanding of His will.

In His abiding love,

Cecil Moon